the day has been rejuvenating. thoughts were fleeting, leaving a sense of peace in their absent silence. chores were done when she felt like doing them. the warmth of the sun hugged her cheeks while her feet danced in the cool pool water.
the pit that so regularly takes up residence in her stomach dissipated in the new quiet. her blood flow slowed and her mind settled. she felt so good. she felt so calm. she felt happy. she felt at peace.
the day had been rejuvenating.
the storm rolled in faster than she was prepared. to be honest, she's never quite ready. the door slammed closed, thundering in her ears letting in a flood of dark clouds. she jumped. she's never prepared for the slam. no one taught him to pull or push a door closed, she mused.
her anxiety rose. suddenly the pit returned to her stomach. her blood rushed and her mind raced. a million thoughts frantically fought through a tangled mess that abruptly appeared in her brain. so many questions, so many thoughts all soaring at once. but only a couple make it to the surface. did everything get done? she hopes he had a good day.
she hopes he had a good day.
she
hopes
he
had
a
good
day
the floor didn't get vacuumed. damnit, she forgot to do that. someone didn't take out the trash. his mood carries the weight of a thousand lead elephants. she feels suffocated. she feel anxious. she feels like she is not enough, the kids are not enough. nothing is enough to extinguish the storm.
mr. perfection's storm carries a microscope of scrutiny and everything he says is so loud. everything he does is so loud. she flinches with every sight, every breath, every word, every move. there doesn't seem to be an exit anywhere in sight for her, but he found an exit. and just as abruptly as he arrived, he left.
the clouds escape with another thunderous crack of the slammed door.
the clock resets. who knows for how long this time. maybe long enough to regain a sense of peace. maybe just long enough to be on the cusp of peace. maybe. or maybe not long enough.
the day had been rejuvenating.
the day had been peaceful.
the silence draws her back in.
