a whirlwind of hazy memories, edges blurring like an old polaroid, faces playing hide-and-seek with focus, and colors staging a gradual escape. amidst this nostalgic chaos, one thing stands undefeated – the emotions.
there she was, a pint-sized adventurer, rolling on the ground in what she remembers was a denim dress and tights. giggles erupted like confetti, and life felt like the ultimate joyride at the ripe age of three or four. love wasn't just a word; it hung in the air, thick with warmth and reassurance. THIS was her mom – not a superhero, but a maestro of love. she had a mom, a bonafide, real-life mom who was unequivocally hers. the joy of those moments was a toddler's version of life hitting a home run.
the debut of her memory archives, starring her – the mysterious maestro of warmth, with no clear occasion, just a canvas painted in the hues of her reassuring hugs, providing a comfort level that was basically a vip pass to happiness. the visit was like a sneak peek at a blockbuster movie – too short, leaving her craving an encore. little did she know, the sequel would be a long time coming.
fast forward through a montage of years where the craving for a mom was real. their makeshift family included their father, grandmother and teenage aunt and uncle. the real magic happened on those saturday mornings when she and her brother, culinary prodigies in the making, would wake up early to cook hot dogs over the flames of the gas stove before wrapping their culinary masterpieces in homemade tortillas and setting up shop a mere foot away from the tv, where the real cartoon magic unfolded. talk about a breakfast of champions and a childhood recipe for unforgettable saturday mornings. she knew she'd always have her brother with her, and that gave her an unrivaled warm comfort.
let's rewind the highlight reel of her childhood mishaps during the years that passed before they saw their mother again. there was the grand toe-breaking attempt to turn the bathroom sink into barbie's private pool – spoiler alert: the sink won that round. she swears she can still feel the pain in her big toe to this day. then, the unforgettable incident involving her aunt's keys taking a plunge into toilet oblivion. she can't confirm, but her memory insists that her aunt went full detective-mode, and fished the keys out of the septic tank. oops! she felt so much guilt that day. her aunt told her not to play with the keys in the bathroom. she warned her that they would get dropped into the toilet, but boy was she ever confident that she would never do such a thing. oh the guilt she felt as she slowly walked to her aunt, head hung in shame.
the kitchen escapade where she decided to play veggie ninja with the largest knife in her grandmother's arsenal while attempting to prepare carrots on the diry and crumb covered kitchen rug. she was basically a culinary risk-taker before it was cool, and she really wanted those damn carrots.
now, let's talk about her secret rain dance routine – rain-induced figure skating in socks. not sure why she exclusively unleashed her "skills" during downpours, but there she was in the driveway, rain, socks, and gliding like a soggy ice princess. grandmother wasn't thrilled; she'd warned of the dreaded cold rain, but her happiness trumped weather forecasts. her soggy conquests always ended with a sloshing entry, leaving a watery trail from the driveway to the bedroom. "figure skating" in the rain was euphoric, it was freeing. she felt like she could do anything she wanted when she was sliding around in socks. weightless and free.
they had a dog named brewster – or at least that's the name she's sticking with, regardless of what they claim. the burial was a backyard ceremony near a majestic tree, with her shedding tears as ants decided to rsvp to brewster's final resting place. dad's philosophical wisdom was "that's just life." it left her pondering the ant-covered mysteries of existence. it was also the first time she felt grief or experienced loss. she loved that dog, and she couldn't fathom never seeing him or petting him again. thus began her fears of death, and wrapping her head around the idea of ceasing to exist.
some time later, a transformed dad is on the scene, practically radiating joy. suddenly, he unveils a mystery woman – something he'd never done before. the mystery woman was kindness personified, and her three teen sidekicks were the real deal. there she was, the junior member of this newly formed squad, getting the vip treatment: hair makeovers, nail painting extravaganzas, the whole shebang. it made for instant adoration. she felt included, and cool, and like she belonged. she loved spending time with them and incessantly begged her dad to visit them anytime they were apart.
dad and mystery woman decided to take a fast track to the aisle in vegas. cue her excitement skyrocketing because, bam, she now had a mom, two new sisters, and a bonus brother thrown into the family mix! sadly, the storm clouds rolled in, and rainbow sightings became as rare as a unicorn sighting from that point on.
